


Don't Stop, Make It Pop

by Marks



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Drunk Sex, Dry Humping, M/M, Undercover as a Couple, Yuletide, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:36:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marks/pseuds/Marks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asher's totally the best person to go undercover in a gay club, and he's going to prove it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Stop, Make It Pop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tricatular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricatular/gifts).



> Faily law students fic for you! \o/ The title's from Ke$ha's TiK ToK because of course it is. Also, this fic completely ignores that murder Connor will apparently get away with.

Connor waited until Annalise was out of earshot to complain.

"I don't understand why I have to take _him_ ," Connor told Frank. Frank made a jerkoff motion and walked out of the room without answering. Connor tried pleading with Bonnie instead, but she just stared at him until Connor left in a huff.

"What's wrong with me?" Asher asked, offended. "I'm totally qualified to go undercover in a gay club."

Michaela squinted at him. "Explain how."

Asher pointed to his crotch. "Obviously, deez nuts."

No one laughed. These fuckers all had sticks so far up their asses that they should have been coming out their mouths. Asher laughed to himself. He wished. Then they might shut up once in a while and he could hear himself think all his brilliant thoughts.

Everyone else went back to their books and Connor didn't come back in, so Asher wandered out after him. Connor was being stupid, shivering on Annalise's porch without a jacket or scarf on, and the dude didn't even smoke, so he looked double lame standing out there alone. Why were most of the best law schools in hella cold climates anyway? Like it would kill the American Bar Association to set some top tier shit up in Key West or something.

"Come back in, idiot," Asher said kindly.

"You know, if she really wanted a convincing couple for this case, she could have at least asked me and Wes," Connor said, not really to Asher, but not really _not_ to Asher, either. "We would be so pretty together. Hell, even Michaela would have been better. She's annoying, but at least she could pull off one of those girls who goes to a gay club for her bachelorette party."

"I'm ten times better than either of those dorks," Asher said. "I'll prove it. I'll be a better gay than even you. And you're an actual gay!"

Connor laughed dismissively. "Calling yourself a gay makes me doubt that."

"Oh yeah?" Asher challenged. "Well, put your money where your mouth is."

Now Connor looked interested. "How much?"

Asher shrugged. He wasn't good at guessing how much money poor people bet on things. "A thousand bucks?" he tried.

"A thousand– wait, you know what? I'm so confident that this is easy money that I'll take that bet. A thousand dollars that says you're going to fail so hard at this assignment that I'll literally be laughing all the way to the bank."

"Your mom's laughing all the way to the bank," Asher said, but he stuck out his hand.

They shook on it, and then Asher turned to go back inside. Freezing his ass off out here seemed counterproductive. Had to keep it all warmed up for later, right?

*

Asher picked out his outfit for that night carefully. He owned a hot pink "My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard" t-shirt left over from pledging as an undergrad. He missed his frat brothers so fucking much! Law school would definitely be ten times more boss if he could still live in the house. Bros before hos and all that, but he guessed since he was playing gay, it would be bros before bros.

Wait. Did that make sense? Asher scratched his head.

Next up was this mesh black top thing that one of his hookups had left behind. One night stands for _life_! He did a little victory dance at the memory. Asher added a bunch of those jelly bracelets girls always wore because they were selling them at a mall kiosk outside Abercrombie and he thought they were pretty sweet. Then he tried to get his hair to do the emo flop thing that Connor's did, but his hair just didn't go that way, so he gave up and combed his hair like a normal person.

Last up, pants. Asher actually owned a pair of skinny jeans. He didn't ever wear them out but sometimes when he was feeling down, he'd put them on and stare at how great his ass looked in the mirror. And even though he didn't feel down right now, he took the opportunity to turn around and check out the goods.

" _Noice_ ," he said approvingly, and left his apartment to wait downstairs for Connor to pick him up.

*

Connor laughed at him so hard he started crying.

"You just don't appreciate true beauty," Asher said, embarrassed, but he turned around so he could go back upstairs to change.

"The jeans are all right," Connor called after him.

Asher left the jeans.

*

"Okay, so we're looking for the main distributor, not just here so I make an easy thousand dollars off you," Connor said as they entered the club, trying to make himself heard over the thumping bass, but not so loudly that the guys pressing in on them from all sides could overhear. The result was Connor speaking directly into Asher's ear, and Asher definitely caught a couple of dudes looking at them approvingly. It made sense. Asher was smoking hot, and he guessed Connor was all right looking as far as guys went. He had nice eyes and the whole stubble thing worked for him. Asher could appreciate that sort of thing, like, objectively. "Annalise says she thinks our client just associated with the wrong people at the wrong time, and if we can find the ringleader, then we can get the drug charge reduced or dropped."

"Duh, I know that," Asher said. He blew a kiss to a blond guy in eyeliner. The guy caught it and blew it back. Asher gestured to Connor. "See?"

"Great, you're an easy lay," Connor said.

"Takes one to know one," Asher shot back. He made a move for the bar, Connor following close behind. "Yo, how am I supposed to be the best gay if you're all up in my grill?"

"Idiot, how are we supposed to stake out this place if we ignore each other all night?" Connor tried to get the bartender's attention, annoyed when Asher's kiss-blowing tactic worked again. "Knock that off," he said.

Asher bought the first round as a goodwill gesture. He was going to be taking money Connor needed and he didn't, after all, so he should at least be sporting about it. "This is what we're going to do: we talk to everyone we can, getting as many numbers as we can and try to get leads while we do it. We meet back here in an hour, and whoever's the hottest boy wins. Good?"

Connor scrunched up his nose. "Yeah, that's actually pretty decent," he said. "It's weird when you almost have brain cells."

"I've got loads of brain cells," Asher shot back. He was totally offended, but he brushed it off, clinking his glass against Connor's. "See ya on the flip side, looooooser."

Asher moved through the club, using every one of his sexy wiles to get dudes to talk to him. It was almost too fucking easy, he barely had to work for it at all, asking guys to put their number in his phone and then asking if they knew where he could score anything harder than pot and molly. Dudes who had drug contacts got a super happy face emoji next to their names, so they could run them by Annalise's client later and see if he recognized any of the names. It was actually one of Asher's better plans. And Asher had lots of good plans, so that was really saying a lot.

But he hit a snag on the twelfth, or the fifteenth, or the twentieth guy (he'd lost track).

"Baby, I don't know why we're bothering with numbers when there's a perfectly good bathroom right over there." The dude jerked his head in the direction of the men's room and handed Asher's phone back with no info. Bummer. "What's your name again?"

"Asher," he replied automatically. Shit, he should have given a fake name. Why didn't he give a fake name? _Idiot_.

"Asher," the dude repeated. "I'm Brady." Brady stepped in and slipped his hand in the back of Asher's jeans without asking and Asher was way uncomfortable with that level of assumption. "Have you ever had someone rim you while you're doing a line off the back of a toilet?" He punctuated the proposition by squeezing Asher's ass.

"Can't say that I have." Man, gay dudes were _intense_. No wonder Connor spent half his life on Humpr. Speaking of, Asher looked up to see Connor watching from the bar. The other four of the Keating Five would probably all have a big laugh at Asher's expense later. But never let it be said that he wasted an opportunity when it was presented. "No, see, I'm playing the phone game because my boyfriend's here. That's him watching us over by the bar. Just play along." Asher pulled Brady's hand out of the back of his jeans and gave him a nuh-uh-uh finger.

Brady put his hands up defensively, but his head was turned so he could smirk without Connor seeing.

"Wait till he looks somewhere else, then put your number in my phone." Asher gave Connor a sweet little finger wave, and Connor turned away quickly. Brady complied as soon as Asher handed it over, but then Asher realized Connor was coming over, not just avoiding eye contact.

"Everything cool?" Connor said suspiciously, looking from Asher to Brady and back.

"Of course, sweetie!" Asher said, slipping an arm around Connor's waist and quickly steering him away from this whole awkward mess. He mouthed _I'll call you_ to Brady, but on the inside he was pretty pissed. Damn, he'd lost like ten minutes talking to that dude, which meant Connor probably won their bet. That sucked, but whatever, a thousand dollars wasn't anything really. Asher just hated losing.

"What the fuck was that all about?"

Asher shrugged. "Some guy had good taste and wanted my ass, he was just going about it all wrong."

"Well, yeah, that's what happens when you hit on a straight guy," Connor said.

"Duh," Asher said with a snort. That hadn't been what he'd meant, but whatever, it wasn't worth getting into. It's not like Connor gave a damn about him. "Did you find anything?"

Connor raised an eyebrow and smirked, which was the smug Connor facial expression jackpot. Dammit, Asher was losing all over tonight.

"Spit it out, Connor. The sooner we get out of here, the better."

"Aw, is Asher-baby having a hard night? Let me guess – boys taking advantage of you but you're not into it," Connor said. "But just look at you. You're probably on the other side of that all the time. You're the very definition of can dish it out, can't take it."

Asher was offended. He didn't dish out anything. Boundaries, like, meant something to him and he didn't want girls to hate him. Yeah, okay, he wasn't fond of blue balls, but if he struck out and had to wait an hour to get home and beat off, he wasn't going to _die_. "You don't know anything about me," Asher said, throwing in a "dick" for good measure. Because that's what Connor was: a dick.

"Whatever," Connor said, backing down. He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, there's a tall guy with glasses over on the dance floor who told me all the hard stuff here goes through some guy named The Dragon." That was the coolest nickname Asher had ever heard. "Why do all drug runners have such dumbass names?" Connor asked. "Anyway, he texted him and he'll let me know when the guy's on his way here."

"How'd you get him to do that?"

Connor raised his eyebrows. "I made some promises for later."

"Jeez," Asher said. "Turn it off once in a while."

Connor shrugged, kind of a _try and make me_ gesture, and pulled Asher over to the bar while they waited. They did three quick and dirty shots each and were about to compare conquests when Tall Glasses pushed his way through the throng to talk to Connor. The Dragon was there and waiting for them in the alleyway next to the club. Connor and Asher looked at each other and hurried outside.

Now Asher knew he wasn't always perfect, as much as it pained him to admit it, and that meant he made certain assumptions about people based on their names. But honestly he hadn't expected The Dragon to be a skinny nerd stereotype who barely topped five-five. But never judge a book by its cover, he guessed, as The Dragon cracked his knuckles menacingly and looked Connor and Asher up and down.

"How'd you hear about me?" The Dragon asked. He had that same funny Philly accent that Frank had, only more exaggerated.

"Let me do all the talking," Connor muttered. "We're friends of Jeffrey Gross." Jeffrey Gross was Annalise's client. "He said he did a couple of small time jobs for you, then got out. He also said you're the best. I can see why." Connor did his little eyebrow waggle thing again. Obnoxious.

"Gross?" The Dragon said. "That dude never did anything. Hot, though. Anyway, didn't he get arrested? I thought he was going to trial for getting busted while dealing. Like I said, he was useless."

"Um," Connor said, glancing over at Asher. Damn, what the hell? Asking Asher to shut the hell up and then he couldn't even think on his feet.

"Jeffrey's in jail?" Asher exclaimed, putting his hand to his chest. "Oh, he's wayyy too pretty for that. I hadn't heard anything about that, had you, sweetie?" He bumped Connor with his hip, and Connor froze and then slowly shook his head. "But we haven't seen him in a while." Asher leaned in conspiratorially. "Actually, my boyfriend and I were just trying to liven things up, you know, looking for a new high. Jeff's name came up, and we remembered him talking about how he worked for you and how we could find you here. He said you were a scary boss, but you don't seem too scary to me." Asher winked. "Are you a scary boss, Dragon?"

The Dragon didn't seem too impressed with Asher's act, but at least he looked less suspicious now. "I was scary when Gross worked for me, sure. Gotta make sure the product moves."

"Speaking of," Connor said, finally finding his voice again. "You have anything for us?"

"Oh no," The Dragon said. "I got to make sure you're trustworthy first."

Asher laughed. "Don't we look trustworthy?" he asked. "Come on, sweetheart, let's buy our new friend some drinks and have some fun inside. It's cold in this alley!"

Connor looked incredulous, but The Dragon shrugged. "Why not? I've got some time."

The three of them went back inside, and Asher kept buying everyone drinks, whittling little bits of info out of The Dragon as he got drunker. For someone with such a big drug game, he was a total lightweight. Connor was getting pretty pink in the face, too, and Asher wondered if the dude had ever done a keg stand in his life.

"You guys don't really seem like a couple," The Dragon slurred to Asher at one point. He gestured with his glass. "Look, you're not even touching. That's not normal. Where's the love?"

"The love's all around us!" Asher said, getting defensive. "Connor, honey, let's dance." He finished his drink, which must have been his seventh or eighth, and pushed away from the bar. Then he almost fell over. Okay, maybe that last one was a mistake.

Connor let Asher lead him out to the dance floor, but when they got out there, Asher realized he didn't know what to do. Like, sure he was definitely the hottest guy there, but that didn't mean he'd suddenly danced with dudes a ton. And Connor was pretty drunk, so this was going to be a mess.

"What's wrong?" Connor yelled over the music.

"I don't know where to put my hands!" Asher yelled back. Connor cracked up and Asher got annoyed. "Listen, you might not give a shit about this, but I don't want some small time runner to go to jail forever because he's taking the fall for some pusher asshole. So shut the fuck up and show me how to dance with another dude!"

Connor looked like he was about to yell back, but Asher guessed he couldn't find anything to argue with because he nodded and put his arms around Asher's waist. "Put your arms around my neck. You can't just leave them hanging by your sides," Connor said, pulling Asher in close. He was pretty sweaty, his hair was sticking to his forehead, and when Asher looped his arms around Connor's neck, Asher could see that his whole stance changed. "Do you want this to look really real?"

"Yeah, jerk," Asher said. "I'm not gonna panic and run off because I get some dude sweat on me. Just do whatever you want."

And that's when Connor pushed his leg between Asher's and started swaying his hips in time with the music. The song was pretty fast, so the result was Connor grinding on Asher's thigh, and no matter how much Asher said he was willing to play along, that was kind of shocking.

"Move your hips," Connor directed, his lips brushing against Asher's ear. Asher's skin prickled and he felt his cheeks go hot as he started to match Connor's movements. Ah fuck, he was drunker than he thought. Connor leaned his forehead against Asher's and his swiveling got more determined. "Is he watching? I can't see from here," Connor said.

"Who?" Asher asked faintly, swallowing as Connor slid his hands down and grabbed two handfuls of Asher's ass, which is when Asher realized he was hard. He couldn't believe he'd popped a boner while playing fake gay. Then he remembered why he was there again, and looked over at The Dragon, who was now passed out at the bar. "Yeah, he's totally buying it," Asher lied. That was going to take some self-examination later, but he wasn't up for it right now. Or rather, he _was_ up for it and it was clouding his judgment.

"Tilt your head up," Connor said. "We'll give him a real show." Asher did as he was told, letting out a moan he hoped was swallowed by all the noise when Connor started sucking on his neck. Connor's stubble should have grossed Asher out, but he liked the rough feel of it against his throat, and he almost involuntarily started grinding against Connor's thigh faster and harder. Asher heard a groaning noise that actually wasn't him. "I'm really drunk," Connor apologized, then kissed Asher full on the mouth. With tongue. And Asher liked it.

A lot.

He also kissed back, a lot. Asher's mouth was open wide enough that Connor probably could have licked his tonsils if he hadn't had them out when he was a kid. Connor's technique was a little wetter than he usually liked, but that just made him think of Connor's wet mouth around his dick and _that_ was enough to make him come in his pants.

"Shit," Asher said, breaking their kiss. He hadn't done that since he was fifteen. "Shit!" he said again, noticing The Dragon was gone. "Fuck," he said mournfully. All their hard work.

"What?" Connor asked. He still looked glazed and turned on. His mouth was crazy swollen.

"Dude's gone," Asher said, pointing. Christ, he was sticky as hell and he still had to get home. This was the worst.

Connor shrugged. "It's no big deal. I recorded the conversation we had in the alley. Plenty to incriminate him there and at least get us a reduced sentence at trial."

"And you were going to mention this when?" Asher asked. This was going to dry and be even worse.

"Well, I didn't want him to pull a gun on us or anything," Connor said pragmatically.

"And the dancing?"

Connor shrugged again. "I told you, I'm drunk. And now I'm drunk and horny, so thanks for that."

To be honest, Asher was pretty proud of himself. "No problem, dude. Want to get a cab back to my place? We can come back for your car tomorrow."

"Your place?" Connor said. And now he sounded surprised, which Asher was also proud of. He was smooth as a... a really smooth thing. A smoothie! Or a marble? Yeah, a marble. "Sure. Just remember when you panic tomorrow morning, this was your idea."

"I'm not going to panic," Asher said offended. He started to leave, but almost fell over three guys standing nearby. Connor helped him up. "Your mom's going to panic."

"Enough with the your mom jokes," Connor said, wrapping his arm around Asher's waist and carefully guiding them outside. "What are you, twelve?"

"Your mom's twelve! Ugh, I can't believe I came in my pants."

"Wait, what?"

*

The next morning, Asher woke up with sunlight stabbing him in the eye, a hangover stabbing him in the brain, and a naked and sleeping Connor Walsh draped over his chest. And yeah, of course Connor was a drooler. He _would_ be.

"Ugh, dude, you're heavy," Asher said, rolling Connor away. Connor groaned, but not in a sexy way like last night. At least if Asher had to suffer through a hangover, Connor would be suffering right there with him.

Connor cracked open one eye. "Have you started panicking yet?"

"I told you, I'm not going to panic. I got my dick sucked, what's to complain about?" Asher reached over Connor and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, scrolling through his new contacts. 

"I don't know, maybe the fact that you sucked mine, too?"

"Sixteen," Asher said with some satisfaction, ignoring Connor. "How many numbers did you get?"

Connor rolled his eyes. "Are you still on about that? Fine, hold on." He went digging through Asher's sheets until he came up with his own phone near the foot of the bed. Asher checked out Connor's ass the whole time he did it, and since he was sober now, he guessed some self-examination really was in order. But not until he won this bet. "Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen," Connor muttered under his breath. "Sixteen. Seriously?"

"Fuck, a tie?" Asher said. "Like, shouldn't I get bonus points because last night was my first time with a dude and all?"

"No," Connor said. "I should get bonus points for actually knowing what the fuck to do last night."

Asher rolled his eyes. "Fine, keep your money. It's not like I need it."

"I should probably get going," Connor said, glancing at Asher's door, but he didn't move and Asher didn't prod him out. That was different.

"Yo," Asher said suddenly, "how many times has someone made you come in one day?"

Connor raised his eyebrows. "I don't know," he said. "With food and water breaks, probably six or seven times?"

Asher smiled. "Bet I can beat that."


End file.
